Wednesday, May 09, 2007

my titaniC



It's nearly a month since i've been away from home. homesick?? dah tak sangat but still have to "berlakon" so that tak dpat title "tangganG lupe darataN"....
i managed to get the whole "tune" of living in kampung w0llongg0ng...
Life is totally different here compared to back home in malaysi4..

My daily routine would start as early as 5 cz i've to be at site by 630am.work finishes at 5:30, but then 5 o'clock sini dah gelap gulita. most of the shops even malls closes at 6pm. Except on Thursday (paydaY- which will be extended until 9...). I'll hit the bed at 9...Huh ?? iNa tido kUl 9 ?? boley masok Ripley's belive iT or noT...bUt that's the fact... *i'm not writing this to impress Mamito or what so ever....* Most of my late night outing would be on the weekends but since i'm in this dead town of wollongong..nowhere to go..eventhough sydney is just 90 km away, with all the speed limits and stuff by the time sampai sana dah penat. I rather stay in and hybernate..

My weekends would be filled with outdoors activities, swimming, sight seeing, lazing around on the beach, Groceries shopping,doing laundry, dvd marathon, morning coffee at abg harris's, sessi makan2 membuncitkan perot..etc.

It may sound interesting to be abroad..but personally i don't feel like it. Lain kot kalau mase student dulu where u're surrounded by friends. sTudying and working abroad is totally different. lelaGi Now dah tua-tua nih, the pace, the mentality dah lain.

i'm in solitude misery....
tO make things worst is that i felt as if i have lost my sense of belonging, drawn apart...i was very close to my family and friends (and i wish i still am..) but the distance kills it all...

for the first few days.. it still feels as if i'm still close to them despite the fact that we are million miles away but then as time passed by, things started to give in...baru sedar..who much things have and will change. It doesn't take even a month for me to realise that my decision on being here will bring great changes in my overall life..

i will no longer will be the the person that i used to be..

"the naughty iNa" to mamito and papito- who will always balik lambat cz coffee wif friends until wee hours of the night..
i'm no longer "the kak iNa" to my 3 adorable spoiled siblings"- who used to bring them outings and spoil them with forbidden food during weekends...
i'm no longer "the lil iNA" to kak ijaH - who used to sakat dia and lovingly "condemn" her in whatever she does...
i'm no longer "the mamaNa" to my precios two babies - who used to teach ayep with wonderful-mamaNa-self-boasting-greetings such as "hi georgeous" & "hi beautiful" and sufficate aufa wif my kisses...
i'm no longer "iNa"to my best friends who could spend endless long hours over coffee and talkkok...

out of sight..oUt oF touch ???

someone did ask me back then..."will long distance relationship/friendship work ouT ??" at that point of time my answer was.."sure..all it takes is a little effort and lots of trust to keep things afloat..." but now... i think my ship is sinking....

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Na...it is that fast a friendship can evaporate???? if yr answer is yes...then ..just take it from me, that frienship is not worth it!!!....'cos a true friendship is the one that withstands the ups and downs of life...U should thank Allah 4 sending u to Sydney...'cos now u know who yr true friends are...Sujud syukur Na...For every of Allah's doing...there is always hikmah disebaliknya...

We just want u to know...we will love u always...apa pun yg berubah..we accept u as u are..in what ever wrappings u come...

Tapi..as for me ....Na..I am happy with the new Na (sorry!!)..I think i will love her..though, of course i'll miss the old Na!!!

Na life is so short!!!if ever u feel low..don't dwellin it for too long...Don't live in "if"...take life as it is...We pray 4 yr happiness...Make the best of what u have chosen 4 yr life...don't regret...



for if it is a true know that the

Anonymous said...

Hello Ina,

I think I know how one feels bila jauh diperantauan, especially if one's life has been quite eventful day in and day out. The situation is worse if budaya ditempat baru tersangat berbeza.... Dan, being a Muslim, kita terpaksa patuh kepada the "dos" and "don'ts", walaupun ada segelintir orang yang dok "buldoze" through dan terikut ikut budaya dan cara hidup yang "alien" sebab mahu jadi "part of the group"
Dan kekadang tu ...... ada yang jadi lebih mat toleh dari mat toleh dan minah toleh disitu.

I still remember when I was posted to Dussoldorf, Germany way back in early 1977 .....I was then just over 25 years old .. tapi dah kawin dah !!!! Mak was in Reading. I was there on a practical training posting for 3.5 months.Lepas tu .. kena pergi other European branches for another 2 months. Being an alien there, I felt so lonely too ... so, every evening, lepas kerja, balik ke apartment ....and after masak (masak sendiri jugak ... very very simple food) dan makan malam.... I would spend the entire night (about 5 hours) studying for my banking exam. I seldom go out of my apartment bila balik kerja ...tambahan pulak masa tu very cold winter. Memang lonely.

So Ina, fill your time LEARNING ... and as Orgy Ahmad Daud said dalam komen AF5, .... "GALI" dan "SELONGKAR" selok belok profession Ina to improve yourself.

You know what Ina ... It was because I was an alien in the winter months in Europe that abah learned new fields .... Accounting, Finance and Law (belajar secara post).... because I have so much time ... and I managed to get through my banking Diploma examination in one sitting then, although I tak pernah belajar pun subjects tu before. Alah .. kan kita in from arts stream. Ina can also do that ... perdalamkan ilmu Engineering untuk memenuhi masa yang terluang.

Actually, sejak Ina left ... abah rasa sangat kehilangan Ina tau .. walaupun baru aje 3 minggu Ina pergi. Jadikan lah penghijrahan itu sebagai satu cabaran untuk memperbaiki diri.

And remember, Allah mengetahui segala tindak tanduk kita..

Miss you Ina.

seLf rEstrained... said...

hI mamITo and papIto....
TerkejoT bebUdaK laIN tgk maK & abaH comment...(hey guys they are the cOOleSt Mum and DAd in the world..gO aheaD comment aje..)

maK...hehheh...i know that u'LL love the neW ina SOOOoo muCh..*Yer other long lost daughter is baCk*..but seriously it sucks...i long those wonderful time lepak kopitiam wif you guys, mamak session wif the rest and not mentioning my wee hours outing wif my friends..but those haf to be put on hold fer a while..i worry that the moment i come back things will change and it definately won't go back to normal. akward moments.. wish that there is still a "place" waiting for me back home

abah...alah bohsan aaH naK baCA nak study laGi..*Just playing my normal "rebellious iNa" *.. i know you missed me so much.. Keep all yer "gadoh2" session for me k??
i'll try my best to make the best out of things at hand... thanks abah .. lUv and miss You tOo..

Anonymous said...

hmm..
alaa....ya windOo ka na gak..
kak ina ingat yang ya dOk anta2 mail kat kak na tuh sesaje je ke?
tu sume sbb windoo oOooO..

hmm,biase nye sure kak na dtg UPM n menyusahkan idop ya yg tengah tido or tido or tido lagi kat dlm bilik tuh just tok ajak pi ngoraT pakcik laksa tuh..walaupon tua..taPi senyomannye ttp menjadi pOojaan hati kite kan kak na?hahahahha.tapi nowni da tak dapat rase sume tu..kalau pi maulana tempat pakcik tu pon da cam tak rase cam ape yg ya rase time pi ngan kak na..huhuhu~

setiap kaLi ya baLIk keja kan..mak sure cakap..'ya da baca bLOg kak na??seduh sgt..mak nangeh tadi time baca..' hahahhaha..ape je yg mak tak nangeh kan??

papepOn kak na..
bagi ya..
things wont n wiLL not change
ya tau kak na mmg akan sentiase jadi sewel n sengal
n slalu je nak masok peti ais..
that's my kak na..

as lOng as u can remember the term of peti ais..u'll be my fav sis.EVER.muaaHhHhhsss

eh..kak ija baca gak eh bLOg ni??
tO luvly kak ijah(wek!!)
u r my fav sis gak..hahahhahah
siyes niH.
:)

Anonymous said...

Dah lama jadi silent reader, tetiba aku rasa terpanggil lak nak buat komen....:)
Na...apa yang ko rasa, aku pun penah rasa dulu...dok di negeri asing ngan bahasa yang aku x faham...aku rasa boring...kengkadang aku kira..berapa ari lagi aku nak balik mesia....so sama ngan ko...time tu aku selalu tido awal dari biasa...supaya..masa cepat berlalu....aktiviti aku hari biasa..pegi keje n balik keje...pastu makan n masak sesikit...pastu tido...tengok tv tak faham...cuma weekeend jer aku pegi window shopping tempat yang berpuluh kali aku pegi...nak pegi temapt jauh skit..aku tak reti...sebab x boleh baca tulisan die...lagipun...masa tu ..aku duk kat area kg..lagi ler...
Tapi bila aku balik mesia...sometimes...aku miss tempat tu....aku rasa rindu ngan makanan dier tempat2 aku aku pegi....sebab ia bagi pendedahan kat aku pasal budaya luar.....
so aku rasa...ni la masanya..untuk ko gain semua tu....dan aku rasa..apa yang uncle bg tau tu...aku sokong sesangat..
aku cuma nak bagi tau....aku rasa best sangat..ko jadi kawan aku....

Anonymous said...

Na....akak baru bace nie...tue yg baru comment..been busy **eekekek** lately..yelah ngabihkan keje2 b4 back t work...
Bowing aahh Na nie..ngabihkan ayor mate owg ajer..dah ler mak asyik banjir je kat sini..owg plak numpang samer...

Na....jgn aah seshedih ....ni..temporary je...insyaAllah..knowing U..U can cope wif anything.....though jauh in miles ke ape kee...jgn aahh rerisau coz we all cni luv u lots n u'll always b our Fav MamaNa....Nobody can replce THAT!!tau!!!!
Yup!!I terribly miss U n yer notty comments...sunyi jer rase ...2 add salt to d wound..ayiep lately nie kerap gak cakap .."MamaNa aahh..Ummie.MamaNa work eeh???lame tak jumpe MamaNa.."..sometimes dok jenjalan shopping tue..out of d blue ayiep will say.." eehhh comelnye Ummie **barang this n that....**..kite beli jom..beli tuk MamNa.."..there...U C...though u're far away..Ayiep still remembers N miss U..u'll always B their notty but kind MamaNa, ariff n aufa both...
U won't miss much..just bacer aahh me-blog hopefully wendoos2 Na kat budak comots ber2 tue heal sket..

As 4 d notorious 3 spoiled brats..i'll do my best to spoil them like u used to...I might not come even close to your standards but that's what I can do n will try my best..
Na..as 4 relationship..true what mak says..if its meant to work..bagiler tsunami pun..it'll work...I think i understand what u feel now..been there...done that.felt that as well..just hang in there sis..if that whoeva don't see the gem that u r...die aahh yg **tOOt!!*...have faith okay sis..i'll pray 4 U always..
as 4 other relationships...Ur frends n family alike will stay that way..coz U r someone that's rare to find n will always b remembered n missed no mater what..where ...n who...

huge wet kisses from Me..ariff nlil aufa...miss U tonnes..

seLf rEstrained... said...

seronot..seronot..ramai yang comment... thanks iYa.. kak IjaH..and eveN Rona drop by...suker sangaT..* gedik-gedik*...
it's freezing cold here.. tuh yang emotionaly unstable..hahhaha.. mind not working really well *nothing new to that*....OOOoiii... jangan aaH sedih2... sume sedih na lagi aah sediH....

superman said...

hmm..
dearest Ina..

Rasanya tidak keterlaluan kalau saya berbahasa Malaysia...
takut anda lupa daratan pula..

wakakakaka

tapi aku rasa macam x patut nk ckap kat lelaman yg ni..
sbb sumer yg comments are ur family members..

tapi aku cuma nk share something la kot..

"time will surely flies as it is.. it is how u spent the time that counts"

ayat2 tu najib yg bagi kat aku, masa aku baru2 je pindah pontian..
sbb ms tu bleh kata sume orang baru yg aku kenal2..

tapi pape pn..
aku rasa ko tau yg ko ada family yang sangan understanding n friends yang sgt supportive..

jgn sedih la..
ko macam budak kecik la nk sedih..

"banyak2 orang yg call aku, ko sorang je yang maki2 aku eh de? tapi thanks..
atleast aku x le rasa sedih sgt"
hahaha

Anonymous said...

Na.. alarr sedih lah baca yr blog.. takung2 gak air mata nie.. seriously can feel deep down how i miz u so much.. yerlah, used to be so close when we were at the old off, pastu ilang kejap.. bila we jumpe balik, u pegi jauh pulak.. miz all the coffee session at Dome with u babe!

Na, hope tht we will remains in touch. proud to be yr fren darl.. cant find anyone like u in tis world tau.. the one and only iNa..

dato' k say hi to u too.. even junior pun terasa windu.. tcare tau! dunt worry, nanti i nengok2 kan OM..

seLf rEstrained... said...

eN. uDe & missing dara...
suke-suke maki akU on fone..
ape lagi .. Time will surely fly..it's just a matter of adapting, accepting, and making the best out of it ....datang aah sini kalau berani ???

mummy dato' K junior (a.k.a iNtanz)
missing all those cafine session at dome..alamak...takpe..takpe..by the time i balik nanti dato' k junior dah besar kot..heheh we'll definately catch up on our coffee session..wow..ade oRg siap volunteer nak jagakan OM ?? dia dah besar aah ...send my regards to dato'k as well...

waaa... nak nangis ..nazrin nak kawen...first siti curik mY dato K...then intan pun dapat dato'k ..now there goes nazrin.. now tinggal the most eligible bachelor of all aje "pak lah"...NOT!!!!!

JFQ 945 said...

Uda,

Sejak bila aku bagi ayat tu kat ko..

jarang aku menunjukkan keintelektualan aku kat depan ko...

Na,

Those feelings memang biasa la for the first 4-8 weeks, but by the 3rd month, silap2 dh lupa jalan balik macam aku kat sini...
Aku jugak yg nak ke Kg Sri Wollongong tebas semak nak tunjuk jalan balik untuk ko...