sabaR ajeLAh...

even a tough cookie will break down and crY..
and this cookie did.....

i was feeling so down for the past couple of days...
iT started when mum & Dad left for Umrah a couple of days agO.
NOt to mention that things had been tough ever since hubby left for The emirat3s. Being left home with 2 nephews who are extremelY hYpeR-active and a maid who is seriously not able to cater for these two are tOo much tO take at times. Having my papers to finish up with tonnes of caLculatIOn to be done while having screaming kids as your background mucis is definitely a disaster.

However after 3 days of hide-out at Mummy's place i managed to get everything in order. Mentally, physically and emotionally prepared, i'm just waiting to face the fire..bring It oN... report ready, calculation all done Up..drawings Plotted..tunggu nak bind report aje...

IT was Thursday then the BiG Bomb dropped. The examiner had Declined to be my examiner since he was struggling to find a second examiner. daRn.. taLK aBouT baD LuCk .. i have Jinx written all Over me..

First the withdrawal oF the JoB Offer, now this ?? ApelaH nasIb..What have i done wrong to deserve this ? Deep down i was devastated. I'm not good when dealing with rejection. SaBO ajelAh...

bY 30...

i once dreamt that by 30 i would be a political figure...
some sort of Put3ri uMn0, w4nita umn0 or whatever...
my wardrobe would be filled with pink, red kurungs and see through selendang..
i wOuld be verY buzzy campaining and and going around towns and "bendaNgs"..

My husband would be verY shY and timid
that would follow everYwhere i go without any limit...
No kids in the basket as i'm tOo BusY..
tO serve mY country and my beloved parTi...

i'll haF tO be in my dearest behaviour
no scandaLs..no hanKY panKY oR what so eveR,,
oR else i'll be in all sorts of trouble..
and People are swarming to burst my bubble...

bUt thank God that now i'm a nobOdy..
where i can flee anywhere so freeLy....
i haf no remorse for not being anYbody
as beinG what i am Now..i feLt so LucKy..

*thanK GoD it was Just a DReaM...
haPpy 30th B'day To mE....*

dowN...

it's not the same when your other half is not around. i must say that i dread each and every second as the day passed by without him.

HubbY leFt for Abu Dh4Bi last sunday and yours truely still mourn in misery.I would be joining him as soon as i'm done with my papers. Meantime i'm back at mom's crib. being back home is good but it doesn't feels the same.

The whole irony of being left behind, not being able to work *as i can't no longer bear the long drives and packed roads all the way to damansara*, very lethargic at times, stucked with the papers to submit which i don't even have a clue how to do it!! damn... this is really killing me..

to top it all.. my job offer in UAe was withdrawn *don't they know that preggie lady pun boley kerja ? stOoPid c0nsortium*. I think i've drained out all my luck this time around.

Mum and dad are leaving for her yeaRly RamadaN-UmraH-trip on mY b'daY and will only be back in two weeks time.shoot!!!
Life is so full of ups and downs..
and i think i'm gonna be down in this dump for quite a while..

*dimana dIa anak KAmbing saya...
anaK kamBinG saya ada di sawaH paDI...
di mana Dia Chenta HaTi saya...
Chenta Hati saYa ade dI aBu dHabI..*

yEehhhaaaa...